NetSpeak
by barbi-bee
Summary: Hermione spends too much time on the computer to do her homework properly
1. Homework Assignments

Net-speak  
  
By Barbi Bee  
  
A/n:The characters are not mine they are merely borrowed for the duration of this fic.  
  
Dedication: To Penny C for a Great Line  
  
Having received the latest model computer for Christmas, Hermione found that she was spending almost every available moment on line in various chat rooms. Unfortunately it also meant that she wasn't doing her homework, at least not properly. She had done rough drafts of her assignments on Notepad but hadn't revised them or put them down on parchment, worst of all they were all in net-speak.  
  
It wasn't until she was travelling back to school on the Hogwarts Express that she settled down to some serious revision. She managed to complete Arithmanthy, Transfigurations, History of Magic and Charms by the time the train pulled into Hogsmead station.Potions would just have to wait until the evening, not that she had a class with Snape for til Tuesday anyway.  
  
That night in the Gryffindor common room she settled down with her homework and attempted to make sense of what she had written previously. Harry and Ron had other ideas of how she should spend her first evening back at school and they were not taking no for an answer. Sighing, Hermione put her books away and went with the two young mischief makers, knowing that if she didn't and they got caught she would end up with a gutful of guilt.  
  
The next day was even worse for trying to find a quiet moment to study. Whether she was in the commom room, the dormitory. the library, down by the lake or up in the Astronomy Tower someone always seemed to want her attention.  
  
When Tuesday morning dawned it was to a steady fall of rain, which meant that tempers were frayed and the likelyhood of finding a few precious minutes to herself was practically non-existent. With Potions class first on the days timetable it meant that Hermione had to either hand in her rough net-speak draft or not hand in any homework at all. The later was totally unacceptable, so the former would have to suffice.  
  
And so an essay on: "VolNatMugChem" typed on computer paper using Notepad found its way to Professor Snape's Desk. It was returned to Hermione during the next class with the following comment written across it in bold red strokes.  
  
"Miss Granger, how on earth did an assignmant on the Volitile Nature of Muggle Chemical Reactions become VolNatMugChem - whatever that is supposed to mean. As for the rest of the paper, for the first time ever, words fail me. I therefore have only two things to say. 1)If you cannot be bothered to write your words out clearly, do not expect me (or anyone else) to be bothered reading them. 2) Twenty points from Gryffindor for an incomplete assignment and two weeks detention starting tonight. 


	2. Detention and Explanations

Net-Speak  
  
By Barbi Bee  
  
A/n 1: The characters within do not belong to me but to JKR.  
  
A/n 2: This story was going to be a one-off based on a line to be used by Snape. The line being "If you cannot be bothered to write your words out, do not expect me to be bothered reading them". I've been asked to continue so I'll give it my best shot.  
  
A/n 3: to RandiWeasley - thanks for the review and hope your course goes well.  
  
to lama - your answer is both above and hopefully below.  
  
to gaia-moore() - nothings wrong with net speak, Hermione didn't intend to hand in her rough draft, she just didn't have time to redo it.  
  
to tailchaser - the only reason Hermione did her essay in netspeak was because she'd been in chat rooms all day and that is what she'd been using when she decided to rough out her homework assignments. She managed to rewite the others but not potions and couldn't face the thought of not handing a paper in.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Not exactly thrilled with the grade she received on her assignment - an F - but knowing that that is what she had earned, Hermione knuckled down to do the work properly. She wanted to prove to Professor Snape that she Did know her subject even if her previous presentation had been somewhat - lacking.   
  
She expounded on how Chemistry and Potion Making were in many ways alike. How a touch too much or too little of a particular chemical/ingredient could have a profound effect on a solution/potion, by negating it, making it rather volatile or making no difference whatsoever. How using different purities of an ingredient eg bottled, distilled or ordinary tap water could alter how things turn out. How using different apparatus could change things in much the same way as using a pewter cauldron as opposed to a gold or silver one could radically alter a potion.  
  
Realising she had missed dinner in her determination to do the assignment correctly, Hermiones made her way to the dungeons - there to face the first of her detentions.  
  
She knocked on the door of the Potion's classroom and hearing a gruff "Enter" walked in.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ah, Miss Granger. Please take a seat and tell me what you were thinking when you handed in an assignment in net-speak , of all things?"  
  
"I, I wasn't actu - Just a minute, you know about net-speak Sir."  
  
"Yes, Miss Granger, I do. Did you think that just because I am a Wizard, I would be ignorant of all things Muggle?"   
  
"No, Sir.It's just, well with you being a pure-blood I..."  
  
"A pure-blood, Miss Granger, and what, may I ask gave you that idea?"  
  
"You mean you're not?"  
  
"No, Miss Granger, I'm not. Like your friend Mr Potter I am a half-blood, born to a pure-blood father and a muggle-born mother. Now if we can return to the subject at hand - namely, your assignment."  
  
"Yes, Sir. You see I got a new computer for Christmas and while I did the rough drafts of my homework assignments on it, in between visiting some chat rooms..."  
  
"That explains the net-speak then."  
  
"Yes, Sir. I um didn't get round to revising my work at home and only managed to get four of my five essays completed on the train. Every time I tried to do my potions work between then and class something or someone also seemed to require my attention. As I couldn't not hand anything in, it had to be the rough draft."  
  
"I see, and have you revised your work now?"  
  
"Yes, Sir. With some additional work as well."  
  
"Let me see it then."  
  
Hermione then handed over her now revised Potions homework and waited quietly while Professor Snape perused it with a knowing eye. After reading for a few minutes he went to his desk and removed a picture frame from one of the drawers. Handing it to Hermione, he said "Miss Granger , do you know what this is?"  
  
"Its ... Oh my god, its a Masters Degree in Chemistry from the Sorbonne University in Paris!"  
  
"Correct, Miss Granger. The reason I'm showing it to you is so that you are aware of the fact that I have a full understanding of the subject I assigned you over the break. You essay is well done, you've used several excellent examples and you have quite skilfully used a perspective which would help someone not well versed in Muggle sciences to understand your paper. I am awarding you an E, it would have been an O except for the fact it was not handed in on time. As for your Detentions - You will spend two hours a night here in the Potions classroom tutoring Mr Longbottom."  
  
"Tutoring Neville Sir?"  
  
Yes, Miss Granger. Tutoring Neville, and I will expect a great deal of improvement in both his work and fortitude once the fortnight is over. Until then you will both be excused Potions class, instead you will receive your assignments in the evenings before your session begins. As you will need to prepare for tomorrow you are hereby dismissed."  
  
"Goodnight Sir and Thankyou." Hermione turned and left the room. Reaching the Gryffindor Tower, she entered and made her to her room knowing that sleep would not come easily as Professor Snape had given her a lot to think about. 


	3. Neville gets a Tutor

Net-Speak  
  
By Barbi Bee  
  
A/n 1: The characters within do not belong to me but to JKR.  
  
A/n 2: This story was going to be a one-off based on a line to be used by Snape. The line being "If you cannot be bothered to write your words out, do not expect me to be bothered reading them". I've been asked to continue so I'll give it my best shot.  
  
A/n 3: to Tigere47: as you can see, I'm doing what you wanted.  
  
to RandiWeasley: thankyou for your lovely comments,they made my day.  
  
to Gabrielle: this is a story which I made up in answer to a semi-challenge, not real life. As to how it could be possible, very easily. Two windows open on the PC, ones a chatroom the other the notepad you are roughing your homework out on.You are using net speak on one and might as well use it on the other because its much easier than chopping and changing all the time.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Mr Longbottom!"  
  
"S-Sir?"  
  
"Have you spoken to Miss Granger this morning?"  
  
"Y-yes Sir."  
  
"Then what, may I ask are you doing here. You have been excused from Potions class from the next two weeks while you receive nightly tutoring in the subject from Miss Granger."   
  
"I-I wasn't sure whether she was telling the truth or playing a joke Sir."  
  
"Really, Mr Longbottom. Have you ever known Miss Granger to joke about something as serious as her education?"  
  
"No, Sir."  
  
"Then what made you think she would start now, and about MY class? Mr Longbottom, I suggest you leave now and remember to be back here at 6:30 this evening. Dismissed. "  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
At 6:25 that evening Hermione and Neville presented themselves, rather nervously, to the door of the potions classroom. They knocked and after receiving an affirmative reply, entered.  
  
"Your assignments are on the desk, carry on and Please, try not to make to much noise."  
  
"Yes Sir." came the reply from both students as they looked at their assigned work. The Potion they were to make was a fairly simple pepper-up potion. Something that would not take long to brew nor use many ingredients, perfect in fact for Neville to get his feet wet.  
  
As the pair worked together, Severus quietly marked work handed in by some of ther junior classes. He occasionally glanced across to check on the pairs progress, noting how much more confidently Neville worked when not being constantly swooped upon. Making a note to give the boy more space when he returned to regular classes,Severus continued with his grading.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As the fortnight passed, Neville became visually more confidant in his brewing and in the presence of his teacher. A confidence that overflowed to other areas of his life as noted by Minerva MacGonagal at a staff meeting on the Friday.  
  
"What ever has happened to Neville Longbottom, he seems so much more - alive, I suppose."  
  
"Miss Granger has been tutoring him in potions for the past two weeks. It seemed a suitable punishment for not doing her holiday assignment."  
  
"This IS Hermione Granger we're talking about isn't it?"  
  
"Is there another one?"  
  
"I've just never known her not to hand in her homework before."  
  
"It seems she received a new computer for Christmas and got carried away with it."  
  
"Computer?"  
  
"Muggle electronic device. I'm sure she'll explain it to you if you ask. Anyway Mr Longbottom has benefited greatly from Miss Granger's teachings both educationally and personally."  
  
"I've noticed he's standing taller in class as well" mentioned Pomona Sprout.  
  
"He will achieve great things" said Sibyl Trelawney in a dreamy voice, having felt obliged to put in her two knuts worth.  
  
The other staff members just looked at her, shook their heads and continued on as though she didn't exist. The subject of Neville Longbottom having been temporarily dealt with they went on to more important matters, such as the state of the Quidditch changing rooms. 


	4. Neville makes the Headlines

Net-Speak  
  
by Barbi Bee  
  
A/n 1: The characters within do not belong to me but to JKR.  
  
A/n 2: This story was going to be a one-off based on a line to be used by Snape. The line being "If you cannot be bothered to write your words out, do not expect me to be bothered reading them". I was asked to continue so I'm going to, at least for now.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
RECENT HOGWARTS GRADUATE DEVELOPS REVOLUTIONARY NEW WAKE-UP DRUG  
  
Dateline: St Mungo's Hospital,London  
  
At a Press Interview held at St Mungo's Hospital today, recent Hogwarts graduate 19 year old, Mr Neville Longbottom introduced his family to those present. They were his grandmother - Mrs Elizabeth Longbottom, with whom Neville has lived since the age of four, his father - Mr Frank Longbottom and his mother - Mrs Alice Longbottom nee Spinet.   
  
Both Mr Frank Longbottom and his wife, Mrs Alice Longbottom have, until recently, been in Cruciatus induced comas. The sole reason they are now awake is their son's new wonder drug - known as the 'Wake-Up Call'.  
  
Mr Neville Longbottom,who combined his extensive knowledge of Herbology with his skills in the art of Potions Brewing, developed the drug during his last term at the British school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Testing of the drug began not long after and last week it was finally appoved by the International Potions-Masters/Medi-Wizards Governing Body.  
  
Mr Longbottom is to receive the Order of Merlin, first class for his contribution to the world of medicine, as well as the Potion Masters Guild Award of Excellence - an accolade held by only a handful of wizards.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Great Hall at Hogwarts went quiet after the post owls arrived. Anybody who knew Neville Longbottom was stunned to find out that the chubby, shy, insecure boy they had known was suddenly thrust into the limelight for his scientific discoveries. Those who had heard of his Potions exploits were literally knocked off their seats by the fact that Neville - who could be counted on to blow up his cauldron at least once a week, was receiving accolades from the Potion Masters Guild.  
  
At the Staff Table, Sibyl Trelawney looked smug as she reminded the others of her prediction - that Neville was destined for greatness. Minerva MacGonagal was proud of the fact that Neville was a Gryffindor and had flourished under her guidance. Severus Snape just gave his usual trademark smirk, for it had been under his supervision and tutelage that Neville had created the new drug.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In a Chemistry lab at Oxford University, Hermione Granger was happy for her ex-classmate, and pleased that the two weeks she had spent tutoring him as a detention punishment had turned out so well.  
  
At Auror Headquarters in London, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley were both thrilled by the recovery of their friends parents. To them it didn't matter so much how it happened just that it did. Harry, having been orphaned at a early age, knew what Neville had gone through during his childhood and was just a little jealous that Neville's parents had returned while his never would. Ron, from a large and loving family, knew what Neville had missed and was glad that he was now able to experience at least some of what Ron had known.  
  
At St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies, Neville didn't give a hoot about the publicity or the medals or anything else. He was just so overwhelmingly happy to once again know what it was like to feel his mother's arms around him, as he cried out all the emotion that was within him. 


End file.
